we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Let's get the cat blown out
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
