weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
