im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
