i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
