You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
