I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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