this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
