he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
