Im at strip club and am horny
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
