Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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