I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
