i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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