He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
