I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
