Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
