I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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