drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I cannot find my penis.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
