piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
why didn't you poke me back
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
