he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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