Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
