you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
