I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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