me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
