And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
