there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
