Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
