You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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