I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize