question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
