i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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