I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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