You work out of a Hotel?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
