I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
