I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
