very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize