That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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