I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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