blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
