billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
