Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
