We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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