apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I think my vagina is haunted
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
