I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
