oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
