Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
