So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
