I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize