just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize