So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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