my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
