My hair reeks of homosexuality.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
