butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
