Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
