Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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