What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
