She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
do herpes really smell.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Randomize
