Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
