I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
