Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
