home. puking in laundry basket.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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