Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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