Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
