i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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